Showing up

Is sometimes hard to do

When you’re hurting.

When they’re hurting.

When there are so many things unsaid.

When there have already been so many things said.

When you’ve changed and they might have expected you to remain the same.

When they’ve changed and you didn’t expect it.

When there are both physical and emotional distance between the two of you.

When so much time has passed and you probably should have reached out sooner.

When you think of them and you doubt they have ever even thought of you.

When they think of you but you’ll never know.

Showing up is hard.

Showing up is already hard even under the best of circumstances. When you’re welcomed but you’re busy. When you’re loved but you’re too tired.

I recently read Daniel H Pink’s The Power of Regret and it clicked things into place for me. I finally understood what my regrets were trying to tell me. They were telling me of my values.

If the relationship matters, you show up. You reach out despite all the negative thoughts in your head. You reach out with the hope that it might not fix anything but it might still be something.

Something, no matter how small, is still something.

Something might be better than not doing or saying anything.

Something can remind us all that two things can be true and that if we allow it, we can be open to both things being true.

I finally gathered all my nerves together and showed up in California last week to spend some time with my mom. It was the hardest thing and yet the best thing I’ve done for myself in years.

Here’s to doing more hard things when we believe it’ll matter if we show up. ❤️